Monday, April 01, 2013

"Michaux State Forest Relocated for Children"

The 84,000 acres Michaux State Forest currently occupies will be rezoned and the forest moved to a more manageable 84 acre land fill just west of it's current location.
The recent sequester forced state politicians to come up with even more ambitious plans to funnel money out of the system in what little time they have left. One lawmaker was quoted as saying "You don't need 84,000 acres to throw empty beer cans from a moving pick up truck!" Another noted that "Pennsylvania currently has an excess of trees and that the tree population must be brought under control!"
The 84,000 rezoned acres will be immediately sold to developer friends of state politicians at an incredible loss to the state. One of those politicians who wishes to remain anonymous states that "this move will benefit children, schools and the elderly!" Those benefits obviously makes it a good move for the state.
Once in the hands of developers the property will be parceled and sold at a substantial profit. The developers expect logging, more landfills, private homes and possibly a gold mine. (At least one of the politicians was overheard saying something about a gold mine.....)
The landfill revitalization effort will include renaming the landfill Michaux State Forest and installing an inexpensive sign to keep costs down. User groups will have unlimited access to the new parcel which has no trees, very little grass growing and a small pond with rare three eyed fish.


Slowride said...

Have a great April Fools Day everyone.
It's finally April! Summer's coming!!

brett said...

Man, that took some effort. Good imagination!

HOward said...

You obviously have waaaayyy too much time on your hands Slow!